Baby’s First Heels

Shes a Lady Crib Shoes from

"She's a Lady" Crib Shoes from

Work colleague Natalie W had a dream that she saw me on the high street pushing my daughter in a pram.  And she was called Vera.  And she had little high heels on.

And, searching for a suitable image, it turns out that such things are available…  scarily.

8 Responses to “Baby’s First Heels”
  1. bouncybaby says:

    I do hope I’m not alone in thinking there’s something terribly, terribly wrong with that….

  2. caseyleaver says:

    You certainly are not.

  3. robynslingsby says:

    I feel a little disturbed after reading that. I’m hoping that a) you don’t call your child Vera, b) you don’t make it wear high heels and c) Natalie is locked away out of harm’s way. Strange girl!!


  4. Ellie Clewlow says:

    Of course there’s something wrong with this – very few babies would be able to carry off kitten heels – wedges would be a far better shape

    (and yes, before I get flamed, I am joking!)

  5. bouncybaby says:

    I think I’ll stick to bootees.

  6. bouncybaby says:

    I was reading the current edition of the Private Eye the other day (Eye 1220, 3-16 Oct. 2008), and spotted a cartoon on page 25 that reminded me of this.

    Two girls standing to one side while a third tries to get them to play hopscotch; one of the two is saying: “Don’t be silly… we’ve got our heels on.”

    They’re also sporting fancy hairstyles and mini skirts. I rather get the feeling that this is based a little too closely on reality.

    A childhood, a childhood. My stilettos for a childhood!

  7. lickerish says:

    Wrong! God yes, wrong! So wrong! So….very….very….wrong….
    *beats head on floor contemplating the sheer wrongness*

    The scene:
    A boardroom – a group of employees are trying to come up with a new line of baby accessories for their company.

    The protagonists:
    Dave, Janice, Billy, Justin

    Dave – ‘What about ‘Baby’s First Cigarette?’
    Billy – ‘We can’t do that.’
    Justin – ‘Why not?’
    Billy – ‘Because we’d have to contract out to a third party to manufacture them which should shave at least 25% off our profit margin – nice idea though.’
    Dave – ‘Damn.’

    Justin – ‘I know, what about Baby’s First Mini Skirt’?
    Billy – ‘Oooh, now you’re talking Just, go on, roll with it, fire some ideas across our bows and see if we come astern, come on my boy, you’re firing on all cylinders…’
    Janice – ‘Well before he does that, can I just that I’m not sure that’s really practical, after all, the Baby will be wearing a nappy most of the time.
    Billy – ‘Yeah Justin, that was an appalling idea. What planet are you on? Ahem’.
    Justin – ‘Well then what about ‘Baby’s First Heels?’


    Billy – ‘Go on Justin, lets see where you’re going with this…’
    Justin – ‘A pair of tiny high heels for a baby. Baby gets in some training for the years ahead, Mama gets to see her Trailer Trash protege parade around the back yard – it’s a win win situation.’
    Billy – ‘Justin my lad, you’re my new hero, have the boys knock us up a test pair prior to going into production, this is a winner!’
    Justin ‘And what about another idea I’ve had – ‘Baby’s First Peep Hole Bra?’
    All – ‘You sick fu….’

  8. bouncybaby says:


    The concept of a baby wearing heels when they will not yet have begun to walk is very befuddling to me…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: