What’s a Physics?

Thanks to Daily Mash for providing this pastiche of our week in Ofqual Comms:

CONCERNS have been raised over the standard of science teaching after it emerged thousands of GCSE pupils could not tell the difference between a microscope and a frog.

Question Two: Which one is the frog and which one is the miocropscope?

 

Exam regulator Ofqual has demanded urgent action by ministers before a child suffers serious internal injuries from trying to drink a bag of carpet tacks.

Ofqual said the dumbing down of science teaching has led to children being awarded physics GCSEs for running head first into a wall, while the chemistry exam involves making a glass of Ribena without getting yourself or anyone else pregnant.

And according to Ofqual one child was awarded a ‘B’ grade after claiming that gravity was invented in 1994 by his Uncle Derek.

A spokesman said: “We risk creating a generation of adults who will not only lack vital 21st century skills, but who also risk electrocuting themselves while trying to release the tiny people trapped inside their television sets.”

Filed under: Branding, Comedy, Exams, PR, Press, Work

Information Page

Writing about web page http://www2.warwick.ac.uk/insite/info/hereform/actionshortofastrike/

I
know as I write this that I am creating a rod for my own back, and that
I will be pilloried, and that it’s against my normal policy of
seperating my blog from the more political elements of my job, but I’m
going to do it anyway.

The reason that I’m posting it here
is that I hope that the information (and the fact of having it all in
one place) will be useful for students and I want to draw people’s
attention to it.

Here are the facts:

• Yesterday I built this webpage
• It attempts to collate all the information regarding the national dispute and the impact on Warwick staff and students
• It also includes links to other sources of information e.g. local and national AUT sites
• It is inevitably biased as I work for the University and it is on the University intranet
• It might be helpful to you

Further facts:

• We are looking at some communication for parents/sponsors as we are getting an increasing amount of correspondence from them
• We are looking at some communication geared to students applying for PG courses and PG applications tutors too
• There is a new email address (exams2006@warwick.ac.uk) for questions about exams affected by the action – this goes to someone who knows more of the details than I do.

I’ll leave this entry open for comments for now, but if I get too stressed out by the abuse then I’ll restrict comments!

Cringe.

Filed under: AUT, Exams, Industrial Action, Union, Warwick, Work

A Mass Panic

Himself
is preparing for a fully fledged panic – his exams are this week and
he’s been winding himself up as tight as a coil for over a month.

Every
spare moment has been dedicated to revision – including revising after
a full day at work followed by two hours at college.

He’s got to the stage where he’s convinced himself that he’s definitely going to fail.

He’s
comparing himself to Homer in the Simpsons episode where Homer learns
all about wine and in the process forgets how to drive because he only
has space in his mind for so much knowledge.

So in his honour some relevant Homer quotes:

You can’t keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on.

Lord help me. I’m just not that bright.

Alright, let’s not panic. I can make money by selling one of my livers, I can get by with one.

Every
time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.
Remember when I took that home winemaking course and forgot how to
drive?

I didn’t need that fact…now I forgot who won Bud Bowl 8.

If something is hard to do, it is not worth doing.

I’m off to buy Himself some Bach Rescue Remedy – by Wednesday evening I’ll be making him drink shots of it…

Filed under: Exams, Himself